Before there was #metoo, there was Cassie Ventura schooling us about consent while using the power of the pussy. She knows your game and she does not have the time.

She has the hair, the body, and the beat, but she does NOT have the time. Long Way 2 Go steadily stays in my “recently played” playlist, because there is just something magical about driving through Hollywood, going 30 over, while applying chapstick, and performing the house (car?) down. I. Love. Me some Cassie, but unfortunately for her, America is a bunch of uncultured swine whose collective pussies do not pop severely, because she did not do well commercially. It’s okay girl, they’re the same people who eat tide pods.

I love it when they try to get scandalous

Even though they know they really can’t handle it

They can’t handle it?

They can’t handle it

Tryna to take me out to dinner and I cancel it