It’s no secret that diva siren Christina Aguilera has not been the poster child for commercial success, especially in more recent years. Bionic underwhelmed by only cumulatively selling 330,000 units, and Lotus fared even worse, selling 290,000 units. She do be lookin’ all types of good on The Voice doe… But! What if she had reversed the order in which she released her projects?  Would there be a different pop playing field today, one where Christina is heralded as a titanic commercial force?

I found myself listening to “Woohoo (feat. Nicki Minaj)” today, a gem from 2010’s Bionic, and I couldn’t help but think “What if she had released this today?” I found the production to be in-line with current trends and Nicki’s verse obviously holds up still, ooo na-ne-na-ne. If you remember, Bionic was an experimental dance album where she enlisted the likes of Peaches, Sia, Goldfrapp, Ladytron, Switch, and Le Tigre to name a few. It was described as futuristic and fun prior to the release.

I would venture to say that if she had released Lotus in 2010, a follow-up to 2006’s stellar Back To Basics, we’d see a different pop playing field today. Neither album is bad, per se, but commercially neither could match the success of her previous releases and critics were in agreement that the material was dated and panned the lyrical content.

It’s been about three and a half years since her last release, Lotus in 2012, and as she is gearing up to release her lukewarmly anticipated “ratchet caviar” follow-up, she has all but faded into the background while pop Titans like Beyoncé, Katy Perry, and the holy burger Adele dominate. This is where I blow your mind with science. Are you wearing your safety goggles? Cause remember Carol? She didn’t wear hers and now she doesn’t need them; stupid stupid Carol.

So, back to Bionic, a super underrated album from one of the biggest voices (pun) in the industry. When I got home, I immediately played the album because it had been years since I’ve heard most of the material. Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, this album is full of so many great tracks and they all sound current. What fuckery is this? Was the world just not ready for the slayage that Christina had cooked up? A beautiful soul once said “I guess we’ll never know”, and that beautiful soul was miss Jerri Blank. But unlike Ms. Blank, I believe I have some answers…

In an effort to keep this as short as possible, due to my looming hunger induced laziness, I am not going to go into the album ad nauseam because this is not a review. Standout tracks include “Bionic”, “Birds of Prey”, “Lift Me Up”, “Vanity”, “Elastic Love”, and “Desnudate”, but honestly this is a very solid body of work.

“Bionic” is an explosive futuristic banger that sees Christina serving us egotistical realness, and no one is mad about it. The production, thanks to Switch, is full of electronic synths and processed vocals adding to the cockiness of the lyrics. This is that jam to get you through your cardio when that slice of pizza you ate at 10am is giving you the business, telling you to give up.

“Elastic Love”, much like “Elastic Heart” is a more experimental sound that was not really present back in 2010. I have always been quite fond of this song with its sleek yet gritty production, processed vocals, and tongue-in-cheek lyrics. I feel that this song was one of the more off-the-wall tracks on the album and it is now one of the more current sounding ones. Paper clips, they couldn’t even hold us together guys.

I would be remiss not to mention “Desnudate”, a Spanish-tinged anthem demanding her lover to take of their clothes. We got a little bit of jazz under a pulsing beat, some ooing and aahing, and of course the signature vocal run.

This is why I conjecture that if she hadn’t released Bionic in 2010, but released it today instead that it would be heralded as fresh, innovative, and endearing. Everyone seemed to be preoccupied with Ke$ha‘s brand of dance music, and Christina was the last to know. Everyone was brushing their teeth with bottles of Jack and partying at rich dudes’ houses while Christina cried into a box of Krispy Kremes while watching the bonus features on her Burlesque DVD. She seems to cater to a more niche market, and that’s okay, she is still a successful artist with an incredible voice.

Regardless of whether or not my theory holds any water is up for debate, but one thing is for sure, Bionic is an underrated album and sounds more current than ever. For that, I applaud you, Christina, and I look forward to your next body of work.