I didn’t want my first official blog post to be on the white privilege ambassador, the queen of airing dirty laundry, and the eternally doey-eyed pop star that we all know as Taylor Swift, but the blogosphere is aflutter with her most recent release. “Out of the Woods” is Taylor’s newest single, and ode to Harry Styles, off of her multi-platinum future release “1989”. Let’s be honest, there are so many white girls (and gay boys) who are unable to even in this country that Swift will always be a commercial success. But does that mean it is actually good pop music?

Color me a hater, but no, it is not. It isn’t the worst thing she’s ever released, and I don’t hate it, but it is also not that exciting. I’m a sucker for the drums and the epic sounding production that Max Martin has become famous for; it is very reminiscent of Jordin Sparks’ “Battlefield”. That being said, the delivery is just so damn boring and the opposite of acidic (basic)…and just what were her and Harry doing on that couch with that camera? This song is much better than the repetitive, cacophonous, redundantness that is “Shake It Off”, but it’s no “Someone Else“. This song would be perfect for the likes of Lorde or even Charli XCX, but Taylor clearly lacks the emotional range to convey this song properly. That isn’t going to stop the impending horde of teenage girls from blasting the song in their rooms, cutting up pictures of their ex-boyfriends, and sobbing into their #12 unwich from Jimmy Johns. Oh man, talk about emotional! And lord be with the mothers of these girls when they ask them to turn it down…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0BQF7S1mW8